I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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