i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
