I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Randomize
