why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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