First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
