Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
