I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
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