Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
