eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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