Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's official drugs can't kill me
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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