I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
That accounts for only three of the penises
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
