Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
there is glitter all over my balls
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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