oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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