I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
