Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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