his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
