mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
