how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
