and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
