Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
