..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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