Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
