The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
