U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
