Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
