I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I need to align my fucking chakras
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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