i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
