I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
