Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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