butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
