It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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