glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
