I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Can I color on your dick again?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
