I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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