If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
