Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
