I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize