he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
