pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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