Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize