But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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