How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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