i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
