Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I supernannyed him into submission
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
