I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
