We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My first STD was from a foam party
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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