No awkward lesbian experiences without me
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
