Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
