Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
