Jerry, you need to find god
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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