Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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