so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
