bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
