I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My dick has a subreddit
Randomize
