Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
