You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
