i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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