onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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