Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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