I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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