we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
