i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
