we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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