I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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