Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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