well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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