People in love make me want to vomit
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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