About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
